Summer keeps us busy

So I haven't posted in a while and the real reason is that summer keeps us so busy! I always think, man we will slow down once school is out, but truth is things never really slow down much. Even the last few weeks of school for the kids kept us crazy busy. Maybe I try to do too much??
So far this summer, I taught an online class which ended a couple weeks after the kids got out of school. Since that time I have been to girls camp, kept up on some of my research work, picked strawberries and raspberries, and planted a garden. On top of that, Yoda got fixed, H had soccer camp, C had swim lessons, and the kids each had 2-3 practices for soccer/gymnastics each week. J has also been traveling for soccer and to work on a remodel in NY. We also celebrated our 12th anniversary, H's 9th bday, and C's 6th bday all last month. Next week is gymnastics camp, jam making, a day at the office, and the kids participating in a PSU study. The week after that I have 2 training days for an upcoming conference, and we will spend a family day in Pittsburgh.
So please forgive me if I am having a hard time keeping up with it all. Someday my life will slow down, but by then I will probably be an old lady and no one will care what I am up to!

Grandpa

This isn't an easy post, but it needs to be made. April 19th, 2012 Grandpa Douglas left earth for his heavenly home. J was already in Arizona after receiving a call from his mom over the weekend that his dad's health had taken a turn for the worse. He was suffering from Fronto-temporal dementia. I flew out with the kids the next day to join J. We had a short visit returning after just 4 days. We had a nice time with family, and the kids had lots of fun with their cousins. We will miss Grandpa a lot! He was such a good man and a taught me to be more relaxed, patient, and practical. More posts to come of the events while we were there.

Where oh where has my Chewy gone??

Chewy's gone missing. He does this from time to time. Must be the wild in him.

His brother has already learned what happens when you get wild (see photo below of Obi after his encounter with something - I like to believe a feisty opossum). Obi came back limping, bloody, and sat on our sofa for almost a week only moving to get water (which we brought to him initially). Since then he has fully recovered, and doesn't go on such long adventures anymore.

But Chewy is a different story. In between his naps he ventures into fields, brings home prizes for us (which are not welcome), and enjoys the beautiful outdoors. We would have forced him to be inside, but he knows how to use the dog door and keeping Yoda inside all the time really isn't an option.

Plus, in case you don't remember - he prefers to be wild, so life solely indoors would be no life for him. So today we made missing signs and posted them around hoping that Chewy will abandon his wild ways and come home. So if you see him...please tell him to come home and we will try to make his indoor life a little more exciting.

Crappy

Excuse my language, but need to share a couple of crappy stories. Literally!
Once upon a time, I got accepted to present at a conference...twice. Yep, so I prepared to travel to beautiful San Antonio, stayed in a beautiful hotel (lacking a little sound proofing) on the riverwalk. I met great people, got some great networking done, and presented my sessions. I even had some time to walk around the riverwalk and soak in the atmosphere. All in all it was looking to be a great trip. Then while enjoying the riverwalk after a nice lunch with my new friends, a bird pooped on me! Straight on my hair, glasses, and face. YUCK! Thankfully the nice people I was with, helped clean me up (with Clorox wipes) and I was able to go to my room to wash out my hair. This is not the first time a bird has given me such a message. Nope, I have actually had this experience before. I think it is getting old. Share the love poopy birds and go crap elsewhere.
Now for second crappy story. I don't have great luck when I travel by plane. I don't really do it very often (maybe 2 times a year at most). However, it seems I get more than my fair share of troubles. I have been delayed/cancelled for weather, missed a flight (or more accurately they overbooked the flight and kicked us off since we were one of the last to arrive), and now also been delayed due to mechanical failures. I have actually slept in an airport (I am sure I am not the only one, but it is annoying). So where I was going to arrive home on a Friday evening around 11pm, now looks like an arrival Saturday mid-day around noon - and this is if everything goes well. So, if you see me soon and I look disheveled and exhausted you will know why.
That is all, thanks for listening (reading).

2012 update

So I haven't been able to think of anything clever to write, so I just haven't written. Bad plan. I should write anyway, clever or not.

We are getting into a new groove this semester with my course schedule and the kids activities. Luckily it is "off season" for J so he picks up the slack. I am enjoying my job and trying to keep up on getting papers off in an attempt to publish - something I still don't feel like I do very well. I guess it is a learning process - but the curve seems a bit steep some days. My classes are great. I seem to have hard working students this semester. C still continues with gymnastics and H with soccer. This means 2 practices/games a week for each of them. They are also doing swim on Saturdays.

Other than that our life has been moving along - and someone got a year older. Yep, me! 32 is an interesting age - seems a lot closer to 35 which for some reason is a bit intimidating. I now consider us the "young" in the old group at church rather than the "old" in the young group at church. Maybe part of that is being done with school, but it feels a little weird. Seems so weird to me when people weren't around in the 80s - but that seems to be happening more and more.

Anyway, I had a great day - worked from home and got spoiled by my kids, hubby, parents, and friends. Felt very loved. My most exciting present was a watch that J got me (well ok, I picked it out, but it was his idea to replace the watch I have had forever that keeps falling apart). Anyway, I love the new watch!!! It is fashionable, comfortable, and I think Skagen has a customer for life.

Cancun

J attempted to surprise me with at trip to Cancun for graduation. Apparently my tendency to make plans foiled his big surprise (he was going to tell me less than 12 hours before we would need to leave for the airport), however when he told me I was still very surprised and excited. Plus I had 3 weeks to try and get fit for a swimsuit!

The flight there was uneventful (but we were pretty tired since we were up at 4am), and we had time to get settled and enjoy the rest of the day.

The weather, and scenery was perfect. Seriously, this photo was my view when laying on the beach - looks like a post card it is so perfect. The waves were also nice - would have been great for body boarding or surfing, but after John dove into some rocks and got this....

We decided that playing in the waves was probably best. The water was the perfect temperature and I never felt cold my entire time there! (Can't say I have that experience now that we are home). We got used to the pampered life immediately including lots of desserts, towel creations on the bed, massages, and delicious food.

We also enjoyed a bike ride, shopping, leisurely walks (although we had to consciously learn to slow down), and creatures around the resort. Here is the Mexican badger (tejon) getting food from a child at the resort. They were all over and very cute (even if they might carry diseases).

We even took an excursion to Cancun in an attempt to meet up with my brother to deliver his Christmas package on his mission. While we didn't end up meeting up we did find some good deals, and enjoyed exploring more than the resort (although we could have done that the whole time and still enjoyed ourselves). Here we are at a Cancun market. J made excellent use of his negotiation skills!

I loved being in Mexico, hearing Spanish, and getting away. The people in Mexico were a pleasure to be around.

I mean, really where else is there a mariachi band playing Christmas music???

The best part of the trip was definitely hanging out with my sweetheart. He was so sweet to plan this for me after enduring several years without much relaxation. I can't wait to escape again!

Graduation

Yes, it's true I actually graduated and they called my name out Dr. S N Douglas (of course they didn't pronounce my middle name right, but who couldn't have predicted that?). Strange to be called that. It was very dark outside when the ceremony was over so we didn't get photos of my parents or J afterwards. The kids opted not to attend after we described what it would be like. I felt good about their choice when I saw at least 5 kids in the hall part way through the ceremony. A great day!

With my advisor

My fellow graduates from the Special Education program.

Wow! It's been a while

Hello again world. I haven't been very good about keeping up, but several exciting things have happened around here, so there are likely to be a few posts soon.

Stay tuned for:

PhD graduation (at long last)

Cancun getaway

Christmas

Nana & Papa visit

Double or nothing

A few weeks ago we were encouraging C to rip out a tooth that has been loose for at least 2 months. Finally it was only hanging on by a thread (or whatever holds our teeth in place), and sticking straight out. I just couldn't take it and she wouldn't let me pull it. I encouraged her to move it around until it came loose. She went to bed with it still not removed and came out distraught about 20 minutes later. Turns out that she ripped out the tooth next to the super loose tooth (don't worry it was almost ready to come out as well). This resulted in a fair amount of blood which freaked her out. I ripped (gently pulled - it didn't need much coaxing) out the other tooth the next day. So, the tooth fairy made a double night visit. She still has a card under her pillow for the tooth fairy and the next time she visits. (She thinks a note is part of the deal and why shouldn't it be??)

Halloween and a scary tail/tale

Halloween was eventful this year...pumpkin carving, baking, classroom volunteering, trunk or treat, trick or treat and missing cats. Let's start from the top. The kids had a lot of fun this year carving the pumpkin. Finally neither of them are grossed out by the insides of the pumpkin.The final product. The kids always like to add the green ears on the pumpkin.

I also did some baking for the C's classroom. I think the spiderweb cupcakes turned out great. Good news is they were also yummy! I spent the part of the afternoon helping out at C's school party. The kids had a parade, and party. C was a ballerina
And H was a soccer zombie - all his idea.

The cat also decided to enjoy Halloween. Chewy followed a family around the neighborhood as they trick or treated - he had to pick the only family who is completely afraid of all pets! We tried to get him to come home, but he wasn't having it and continued running around after all the trick or treaters. I can only imagine that he was thinking - "this is great everyone is out to play". We figured he would just come home later, but another neighbor lady thought he was lost, rescued him (took him to her house), and put found signs up all over the neighborhood the next day. He hasn't run away since, and doesn't chase "fraidy" neighbors anymore either.

Behind on all things blog

Hi all! I am pretty behind on posting things we have been up to. Especially things that have accompanying pictures. So hopefully you will learn soon be able to read about:

Halloween (including a special story)

C's first gymnastics meet

Scouts

Roller Skating

Summer family day

Missing teeth

And anything else that happens between now and then

So, stay tuned maybe some of this will even appear tonight - in the meantime enjoy an new blog photo - courtesy of Cooper, my lovely friend and wonderful photographer!

up in flames

So about 4 years ago the kids got a dvd player. I had been telling J to get them one, but he wasn't convinced. Then one day (several days after getting my tonsils removed), he invited me to a party for the company he did business with. I couldn't really eat, but I wanted to get out so we went. I wasn't much of a date (too weak to enjoy myself, in too much pain to talk, and couldn't swallow real food yet). When I got there I found out they were giving things away. We came home with a water bottle, nice coat for John to use at work, and a portable dvd player. Let's just say we have enjoyed the dvd ever since. I would even say some have abused it (meaning C and H a little). C loves to plug it in an watch a show with popcorn (of course) at least a couple times a week. Well a couple of days ago while she was enjoying this favorite activity the plug started on fire. Luckily it tripped the circuit and didn't cause much damage, but the DVD is now toast (burnt toast). Good thing we gave H one a while back when C started abusing the other. Now we have to keep track of it so we have it for trips! PS No one was hurt in the burning of the DVD player.

SND, PhD

So yesterday it became official - I can now put PhD at the end of my name! Lots of hard work, but the defense went well. Since then I have had a lot of attention (which is a little uncomfortable for me), and now I am back to work trying to make the final edits to my paper. As it turns out they aren't too bad and I had anticipated this as part of the process since I know my committee members very well by now.

The kids started calling me Dr. mom, but I asked them to stop. It just felt too weird and made it seem like being a Dr. came first over or is more important than being a mom (which I don't think is true at all).

Anyway, you might wonder if I feel different, excited, happy, etc. The best description is relaxed and content. Yep, 12+ years of higher ed (more like 13.5 for me) and I feel content. Guess I better get used to it since I am not getting another degree.

Thank you to all who sent kind messages yesterday and who continue to congratulate me!

4 days

Lots can happen in 4 days. Take for example the last 4 days in my life...

-J injured his eye with a bungee cord (hifema). He has strict orders to do nothing for about a week.

-C learned to tie her shoes!

-Bad health news for my brother - we are praying for you and your family!

-J's dad broke his hip - apparently not a horrible break but a few days in the hospital and then a care facility for rehabilitation.

-Plus all the ordinary happenings - things eaten by the dog, school stuff, teaching, etc.

Also in just 4 days I should be Dr. D! Hope everything goes well, I am both excited and nervous.

I just realized today...

that by the time I graduate with my PhD, I will have been in college almost as long as I was in public school K-12. That is a scary thought!

Trying to get the Big D done and off to my committee by Friday - so need to go back to editing now.

I love sun

We have had at least a week to 10 days of consecutive rain/gloom around here. Some places nearby even got 13+ inches in a few days time, which caused some serious flooding. We got less, but it has still been yucky. Well today the sun is out and I have to say I am loving it. Even though I am in my room making edits to the big D, I find myself more energized and happy with the sun around. For those of you who get to soak it up all the time - note my slight jealousy. I guess it's true that "you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone"! One week until the big deadline - gotta get back to work now!

A must read

Hi all! I think I posted about something like this a while back - but it has been at least a year. I don't usually get on my soap box, but this is way too important to stand by and do nothing. I came across this article preparing for the class I teach and I think it is one of those that you really should read. For example, did you know that a literature review of a number of studies indicate that apprx. 90% of parents who find out their child will have Down Syndrome during pregnancy will have an abortion? That statistic makes me feel ill. The article is one that expresses the movement to try and get parents faced with the decision to terminate a pregnancy more information about what raising a child with Down Syndrome is really like. I know parents of children in our area are also trying to have a similar movement here, but doctors are very resistant to having parents meet with families who are raising children with Down Syndrome. Having spent time with children with a variety of disabilities I don't doubt it is a challenge, but I believe the reward outweighs any challenges. Anyway, here is the text of the article for you to read for yourself. Warning to all who proceed - prepare to be outraged!

Prenatal Test Puts Down Syndrome in Hard Focus

By AMY HARMON

DETROIT — Sarah Itoh, a self-described “almost-eleven-and-a- half,” betrayed no trace of nervousness as she told a roomful of genetic counselors and obstetricians about herself one recent afternoon.

She likes to read, she said. Math used to be hard, but it is getting easier. She plays clarinet in her school band. She is a junior girl scout and an aunt, and she likes to organize, so her room is very clean. Last year, she won three medals in the Special Olympics.

“I am so lucky I get to do so many things,” she concluded. “I just want you to know, even though I have Down syndrome, it is O.K.”

Sarah’s appearance at Henry Ford Hospital here is part of an unusual campaign being undertaken by parents of children with Down syndrome who worry about their future in the face of broader prenatal testing that could sharply reduce the number of those born with the genetic condition.

Until this year, only pregnant women 35 and older were routinely tested to see if their fetuses had the extra chromosome that causes Down syndrome. As a result many couples were given the diagnosis only at birth. But under a new recommendation from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, doctors have begun to offer a new, safer screening procedure to all pregnant women, regardless of age.

About 90 percent of pregnant women who are given a Down syndrome diagnosis have chosen to have an abortion.

Convinced that more couples would choose to continue their pregnancies if they better appreciated what it meant to raise a child with Down syndrome, a growing group of parents is seeking to insert their own positive perspectives into a decision often dominated by daunting medical statistics and doctors who feel obligated to describe the difficulties of life with a disabled child.

They are pressing obstetricians to send them couples who have been given a prenatal diagnosis and inviting prospective parents into their homes to meet their children. In Massachusetts, for example, volunteers in a “first call” network linking veteran parents to new ones are now offering support to couples deciding whether to continue a pregnancy.

The parent evangelists are driven by a deep-seated fear for their children’s well-being in a world where there are fewer people like them. But as prenatal tests become available for a range of other perceived genetic imperfections, they may also be heralding a broader cultural skirmish over where to draw the line between preventing disability and accepting human diversity.

“We want people who make this decision to know our kids,” said Lucy Talbot, the president of a support group here who prevailed on the hospital to give Sarah and two teenage friends an audience. “We want them to talk to us.”

The focus on the unborn is new for most parent advocates, who have traditionally directed their energy toward support for the born. But after broader testing was recommended in January, the subject began to hijack agendas at local support group meetings.

A dwindling Down syndrome population, which now stands at about 350,000, could mean less institutional support and reduced funds for medical research. It could also mean a lonelier reduced funds for medical research. It could also mean a lonelier

world for those who remain.

“The impact of these changes on the Down syndrome community is going to be huge,” said Dani Archer, a mother in Omaha who has set aside other Down syndrome volunteer work to strategize about how to reach prospective parents.

The 5,500 children born with Down syndrome each year in the United States suffer from mild to moderate mental retardation, are at high risk for congenital heart defects and a variety of other medical problems, and have an average life expectancy of 49. As adults, some hold jobs, but many have difficulty living independently.

“There are many couples who do not want to have a baby with Down syndrome,” said Deborah A. Driscoll, chief of the obstetrics department at the University of Pennsylvania and a lead author of the new recommendation from the obstetricians’ group. “They don’t have the resources, don’t have the emotional stamina, don’t have the family support. We are recommending this testing be offered so that parents have a choice.”

But the richness of their children’s lives, parent advocates say, is poorly understood. Early medical intervention and new expertise in infant heart surgery stave off many health problems; legally mandated inclusion in public schools has created opportunities for friendship and fostered broader social awareness of the condition.

With no formal financing or organization, parents are arranging to meet with local obstetricians, rewriting dated literature and pleading with health care workers to give out their phone numbers along with test results. Medical professionals have for the most part responded with caution. Genetic counselors, who often give test results to prospective parents, say they need to respect patients who may have already made up their minds to terminate their pregnancy. Suggesting that they read a flyer or spend a day with a family, they say, can unnecessarily complicate spend a day with a family, they say, can unnecessarily complicate

what is for many a painful and time-pressured decision.

Their goal, parents say, is not to force anyone to take on the task of parenting a child with disabilities. Many participants in the ad- hoc movement describe themselves as pro-choice. Yet some see themselves as society’s first line of defense against a use of genetic technology that can border on eugenics.

“For me, it’s just faces disappearing,” said Nancy Iannone, of Turnersville, N.J., mother to four daughters, including one with Down syndrome. “It isn’t about abortion politics or religion, it’s a pure ethical question.”

Others admit freely to a selfish motive for their new activism. “If all these people terminate babies with Down syndrome, there won’t be programs, there won’t be acceptance or tolerance,” said Tracy Brown, 37, of Seattle, whose 2-year-old son, Maxford, has the condition. “I want opportunities for my son. I don’t know if that’s right or wrong, but I do.”

Ms. Brown has taken it upon herself to serve as a community resource on Down syndrome for prospective parents. She was encouraged when a counselor at the University of Washington Medical Center sent her an e-mail message recently with a question from a patient.

What developmental age equivalent, the patient wanted to know, do most people with Down syndrome reach?

For parents on an e-mail list where Ms. Brown solicited answers, the question underscored the difficulty in conveying the pleasure of parenting a child with Down syndrome to someone who has the option to reject it.

“Verbally,” wrote one mother of her teenager, “she’s at a 6-month level, but what 6-month-old do you know who can climb out a window and dance on a roof?!?!? We joke that she could climb Mt. Everest.”

“If someone had told me Sam would still be in diapers at age 5 — ugh — I probably would have died,” wrote another. “Living through it, not such a big deal. Because you don’t give birth to a 5-year-old, you grow with and love this kid for five years.”

Doctors have long recommended an amniocentesis test for pregnant women 35 and over, whose age puts them at greater risk for chromosomal defects. But because it carries a small risk of miscarriage, it has not been routinely offered to younger women, who give birth to the majority of children with Down syndrome.

Now, with a first-trimester sonogram and two blood tests, doctors can gauge whether a fetus has the extra 21st chromosome that causes Down syndrome with a high degree of accuracy and without endangering the pregnancy.

But many parents see expanded testing as a step toward a society where children like theirs would be unwelcome. The Newsweek columnist George F. Will labeled it a “search and destroy mission” for a category of citizens that includes his adult son, Jon Will.

Dr. Brian Skotko, a medical resident who has studied how mothers were told of prenatal diagnoses, found a high level of dissatisfaction. He said that most doctors have little or no training on how to relay a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome.

When he talked to obstetricians, geneticists and medical students at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston about the subject last month, though, he was questioned sharply.

One doctor asked about studies suggesting there is a higher risk of early-onset Alzheimer’s disease in people with Down syndrome, potentially saddling parents with another caretaking burden as they themselves age. Others take issue with the notion that they do not give parents a balanced portrayal of the condition.

“It’s a mistake to say ‘your baby is going to be mentally retarded, you should have a pregnancy termination,’ ” said Dr. Allan Nadel, director of prenatal diagnosis at the hospital. “By the same token, I don’t think it’s quite fair to say ‘these are wonderful lovely human beings, you can deal with all of their problems and it’s not that big of a deal.’ We strive to have the proper balance.”

Parent advocates have some advice: don’t begin with “I’m sorry,” or “I have bad news,” as many of their own doctors did.

Weeks after Patricia Lanter decided to continue her pregnancy, having learned that Down syndrome had been diagnosed in her fetus, her doctor reminded her that she could still get an abortion in Kansas if an ultrasound indicated the baby would need heart surgery. Ms. Lanter, an emergency physician from Norwich, Vt., has secured an invitation to lecture the obstetricians in her hospital this summer.

In Wilmington, Del., Kristin Pidgeon recalled her doctor’s gloomy forecast for a local hospital audience: “She may be able to count change for the bus,” he had said of her as-yet-unborn daughter. “But what’s going to happen when the bus doesn’t come?” (Her daughter Aliza, now 5, does not yet take the bus, Ms. Pidgeon said, but she does ride horses as part of her therapy.)

In the Detroit suburbs, Ms. Talbot is still working out the best strategy to drive her points home to medical professionals. When one doctor suggested she had chosen to show them only “high- functioning kids” like Sarah and her own daughter, Megan, she asked Trevor Taylor, who lacks the ability to communicate verbally, to join the lineup.

At the Henry Ford visit, Mr. Taylor, 19, a natural ham, acted out his speech as Megan, 18, read it, before hitting the music and signing along to “What a Wonderful World.”

At the end, he blew a kiss to the audience. Then he hugged his mother.

J bday

J turned 32 yesterday. We celebrated by going to the grange fair - a one of a kind tradition around these parts. Several school districts specifically wait to start school so they don't interfere with the grange fair. I actually have been trying to contact someone via email for about a week and a half and just reached them by phone today - yep they are at the grange fair. For many people around here going to the grange is their only vacation. Even the YMCA programs shut down and downtown Bellefonte is a ghost town. People pass down their tent plots at the grange in their will (sort of like Packers tickets).

While we were there we tried deep fried oreos - they were good, but I prefer the original. We also ate gyros, and some also had funnel cake and cotton candy. I think the best description I have heard of this fair came from a fellow at church who said "Go to the grange fair and you will see all kinds of white folk there." Yep we sure did. We also saw more people sleeping in recliners, using scooters to get around (the mobility kind not kid toy kind), and more heart disease in the works than you can imagine. Let's just say I don't think I could go more than once a year. It was J's first (and likely last) time. We all left with belly aches. But hey, I am not knocking the grange fair - we did have a good time and saw cool things like a black chicken with a white afro (no lie) and a cow that forgot to wipe. So, if you all want to come for a visit make it this time of year so you too can have the experience of a lifetime!

Anyway - it was fun to celebrate J's bday - oh and I also turned in another dissertation draft to my adviser yesterday! Hip hip Horray! Now back to editing another paper - argh.

wimp yourself

H loves the Diary of a Wimpy kid series by Jeff Kinney. We were trying to find out when book 6 comes out when we came across a website that allows you to wimp yourself. Here's what we came up with:

Wimpy H

Wimpy C

Wimpy Mom (notice the backpack - a permanent student?)

Wimpy Dad

Oh and we also managed to make Wimpy Papa (pretend the hair is blond)

and Wimpy Nana from the 80s - you know we have photo proof to back this up :)

Time to lock myself away

Well, I suppose it happens to anyone in my situation, but the time has come to buckle down and get this dissertation done. This past week I spent a lot of time locked away in the room, and more of that is in my future. School starts in a week so I need to get as much as possible done before then. Great thing is, when I block out the world I make a lot of progress :) Still shooting for an early October defense which means a completed dissertation to my committee mid September!